just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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