well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
