in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize