She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
