Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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