i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
