What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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