You just made me feel so damn special
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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