Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
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I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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