My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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