At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Farmville is her only friend.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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