Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
