i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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