nut hugger
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
