living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
