i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have tasted many bathrooms
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
