The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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