He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
