She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
3pm strippers are depressing
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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