Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Randomize
