I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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