Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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