it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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