I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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