Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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