Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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