did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
