I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he puts the penis in happiness.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
