So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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