I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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