Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
