Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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