So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
