Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
