Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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