i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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