My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
As shirtless as possible
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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