she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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