I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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