none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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