I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
