Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
