Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
