When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize