so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
