so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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