This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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