So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
