Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
