They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
