don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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