I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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