yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
