She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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