Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
