Fuck appropriateness.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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