I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
