I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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