I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
