Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
