I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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