I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
