I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
